Raccoon City is in My Subconscious

Here's a list of some of the most vivid, most hilarious, weirdest, and creepiest dreams I've had.

1. I was a survivor of a virus that turned people into zombies. Resident Evil, anyone? It happened the morning after the virus has spread and I was with a few people who also survived. It happened in Manila, somewhere near UP. So we were out and about, these people and I, and there were no zombies because the victims have not awoken yet. When they finally arose to join the army of the undead, we started running. It was frightening.

We reached a hospital and there we met a nurse who turned out to be a classmate from grade school. She locked me up in what looked like a bathroom and there I found a series of doors that ultimately led me to where she was hiding. I told her we should leave. So we went out of the room and were about to leave the hospital through a ladder but there was a zombie on it. More and more zombies came so we ran back into the room and then two of the other survivors arrived on a Harley Davidson and started making out and we were like, "Hey! Stop kissing! There are zombies out there!"

Then I woke up.

2. I was, without my knowledge, pregnant. When it was time to give birth, all that came out was blood.

3. I was a prostitute of some sort. There was a scene involving my ex-best friend, a wooden birdhouse that didn't have birds in it, and me having sex with an old, fat geezer.

It was disgusting.

4. I was in a scene from a Wrong Turn movie, locked inside a hall with the other characters. The deformed humans came with pink and blue chainsaws and killed some of the other people. I, of course, survived, all thanks to a pink stiletto that I smashed against the villains' heads. Apparently, in my dream world, stilettos really can kill. One of girls in my group and was saved by a ninja, while everyone else (except me, of course) was already dead. Since there was no one else to kill, all the other monsters turned to me and chased me with their fancy chainsaws. So I stormed out of the hall to follow the ninja and saw him on a roof. I jumped onto the roof of a house standing right across the one they were on and asked the ninja to take me with him too. Then I noticed there were hands on the edge of the roof I was on! Someone had followed me.

It was fucking Jesus.

With blunt bangs.

I swear, it was so fucking freaky! I jumped across and begged the ninja to fight him and he did. So a short battle scene commenced. And then the ninja came back and said, "Tt won't die. it's a zombie!"

Great. A zombie Jesus. Freakier.

The ninja said the best thing to do was run since zombies were slow anyway, so we ran and started looking for a pier. Ninja boy wanted us to take an abandoned ship and I said "No fucking way! We'll just die!" So we kept running and running and running until we found a real ship and finally sailed our way to (where else?) Japan.

When we got there there were lots of people on the shore waiting for us and I realized it was, like, a fishing village in feudal Japan. And I thought, "Why the fuck is this ninja out in the open?"

Then ninja boy realized he was bitten by the zombie Jesus. All three of us (including the other girl, who was still unconscious) were and the bite marks...

...looked exactly like this: ♥

And that was how it ended.

5. I was being chased by weird creatures. First, of course, were the zombies. Following them were the freakiest shit that had ever made an appearance in my dreams: albino babies with adult faces, bald heads, and huge penises dangling in between their baby thighs.

My brain is infested with monsters.