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I'm alive.

Although I've been posting about death and how I wish there was an easy way to just end everything, I'm still here. Breathing. Existing. Trying to live.

These past week I've been spending more time with books than with people. I guess it's because I spend enough time with people in the office that I no longer crave company as much as I did when I moved back more than two months ago. I'm still figuring out how I could transform myself into a less awkward, more sociable person but I am finding that more and more difficult. Just today I realized how much I dislike having the spotlight on me in social situations. Ugh.

Last week (at least I think it was last week) I finally saw Warm Bodies. It was surprisingly adorable. Nicolas Hoult made such a hot zombie OH MY GOD. The story itself was really cute. And I cried. A lot.

I'm planning on spending the night of my birthday watching Silver Linings Playbook at the cinema. Alone, of course. Most of the movies I saw in theaters in my twenties, I saw alone. Most people find that weird, apparently, but I really prefer watching a movie by myself than with someone because then I could concentrate on the film and no one would be bothering me. Yes, I consider being talked to while watching a film a bother. It makes me cranky.

I'm currently bingeing on young adult novels. My goal this month is to read at least three books and I'm currently on the fourth, which isn't really an achievement because one of the books is The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, which one can read in minutes. Haha. I'm reading YAL and children's lit mostly, because, well, they're easy. And I honestly just prefer YAL over "adult" literature. This past week I read Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan and Paper Towns by John Green. Many people have been raving about Fault in Our Stars but that makes me not want to read it YET. I'd rather do it when everyone else is over it, I guess. I liked both Boy Meets Boy and Paper Towns, and they both convinced me that my heart really is in YAL. Perhaps I'm just not smart enough to appreciate Pulitzer or Nobel prize winning authors. Haha.

I'm currently reading a novel called Eggs by Jerry Spinelli, who wrote one of my favorite novels, Stargirl. The characters are both annoying and amusing, and their love-hate relationship calls to mind my own relationship with my younger brother. Endless bickering!

My 25th birthday is only three days away, isn't it? I can't wait for the weekend.